- Roller coaster: To move, change, or occur in the dramatically changeable manner of a roller coaster.
Yesterday was an average Joe day in the House household. I got up at 4:00 a.m, a sprint to the life spring that is the coffee pot, bible time, a zip through the shower and I am off to work. To say I am a work-a-holic would be an understatement. For starters, I absoutley adore my job and every aspect of it. Working at your home curch defo has its benefits. For instance, you’re having a bad go of it, always someone to pray with and vent to. Bonus!
Well on this particular Wednesday, everything was completely wonderful. It was one of those days where you wake up in a good mood, your favorite songs come on the radio as you commute, the sun is shining, make-up on point, outfit on point, your life basically is on point! Never had one of those days? We need to pray!
All joking aside it truly was a wonderful day. Something rare occurred around 4:00 p.m. I finished the days work early? What? That never happens! Never the less, I was out of there. I was headed home to do some tidying up around the house, maybe a bubble bath. Chick flick anyone?! Then the phone rang. Ah yes, the “twist”. You’re probably sitting there reading about how “perfectly” oblivious I am thinking, ‘there is no way she is that perky all the time”. The answer is… yes! I am. And here is why…
The phone rang. It was my Step-mother. My brother has been rushed to the hospital due to a rupturing appendix oh, and he is heading into a rushed surgery to remove it. Woah.
So, Ashlee turns the car around, perfectly completing a five point turn, I might add. As I arrive at the hospital, I find my brother on his back taking up every inch of this miniature gurney bed.
Side note: Imagine a NFL line backer with a mass of muscle packed on… now you have envisioned my brother…
Any ways, by the time I got there, the medicine had kicked in and the doctors had decided to hold off on surgery. Whew! Out of the woods? Not quite. They want to hold him over night to observe him, then run more tests in the morning.
Most would be worry-filled and pacing the floor. However, my family was surrounded by peace and joy. Honestly I don’t think we stopped giggling the entire night. Maybe it was my brother’s Morphine-filled commentary or our exhaustion, but I tell you what, there was not an ounce of fear in room 349.
The next morning, I awoke to a stiff neck, the sound of heart monitors and dripping IV fluid. Perfect… I took a short stroll around the pleasantly quiet hospital to call my boss to ask off work. I filled her in on all the details. Being the most wonderful woman of God she is, she completely understood and even asked if she needed to zip down to the hospital to be with me. Blessed? Beyond measure!!!
As I hung up the phone, I started to cry a bit. I was some what embarrassed, so I dashed into the nearest powder room… so dramatic. Seriously though, I think after 15 hours the reality of it all caught up with me! I stood alone in the ladies latrine sobbing. Like heavy breathing, hot soaking tears, snot, the works…
Then a revolution came out of nowhere and swacked me upside the head like a two ton sack of bricks. Why was I afraid? Why was I worried?
A passage from Fervent by Priscilla Shirer, a book I have been studying recently, popped into my mind. Basically it says, “Nowhere in the bible does God say to fear or worry. In fact, He tells us over 300 times to NOT fear or worry. The enemy WILL use the Spirit of fear to take your focus off the problem solver and zero in on the problem.”
Another quote from the quote filing cabinet that is Ashlee’s brain flashed in bold letters. I am not sure as to where I came across this perfectly wonderful bit of truth, but a HUGE bundle of hugs and kisses to whomever you are!
“Worship gets us through the toughest parts in life because it shifts our focus from the problem to the problem solver.”
Needless to say, I came out of the ladies powder room blanketed in courage surrounded by an impenetrable forge.
Yes I m fully aware I had a complete ADHD moment, but hey, I am a mere girl finding her pre-planned way in the world.
Composed and ready to trust God whatever the outcome, I waltzed into room 349 to find my once helpless and pasty brother standing and packing his bag… What? Did you miss something? Mixed signal?
Nope. He went from “Major surgery needed ASAP” to “We have him stable, but not sure what’s wrong with him” to “I’m hungry, lets go eat”. All within 15 hours.
Honestly I feel as if God was awaiting my surrender in heaven. Of course I knew God had His hand in the entirety of the situation. Truly I believe He was being patient and waiting for Ashlee to have that “ah-ha” moment. The moment where I realize, hey, He is God with a big g. He is good and patient and perfect in all of His ways.
I know I know… Obvious!!! Duh! Everyone who reads the bible knows that!
Cool your jets for a sec.
Reading, believing and living it are different things. I think maybe that’s what He was telling me.
“Okay Ashlee, You’ve read it, you believe it with your whole heart, now it is time for you to live it.”
All in all God is super. I love Him. And I have read that He loves me. I believe that He loves me. Now I am to live as He loves me.