Peanut Butter

As I sit here scooping spoonfuls of Peanut Butter into my mouth after an exhausting 20-minute run, I have two things on my mind. One, I could really use a shower and two, I could really use a glass of milk.

Random thoughts… maybe… however they struck the cord of why I had decided to go for a run in the first place.

Health? Not quite…

Let’s try frustrative-release.

Is that a thing?

It’s a thing for me and my mental health!

You see, the past two weeks, while on Christmas break, I moved apartments, worked 40 hours and had absolutely 30 minutes of alone time with the Creator of this mover and shaker.  Something is wrong with this picture… How am I not crazy, bonkers, utterly driven mad?

Well, if you had witnessed my midnight run I just took, you’d know that I was driven bonkers, I just contained it well.

The type human being I am, when life throughs on the heaviest of loads on this pack mule and I have nothing but uphill mountains to truck up, I grow very still and quiet. Just as the spirit man grows quiet when we are not marinating it in the Word of God, Ashlee grows quiet when she is not marinating in the Word of God. So… I took a run. I had taken all I could!

Collapsing in the “big yellow thinking” chair in my new apartment, I broke out the old prayer journal and began scribbling out the happenings and emotional cyclone I had put myself through over the past two weeks. I began noticing a pattern and suddenly grew very angry with myself for allowing this.. this… this THING to encamp itself around and suffocate the fire of my soul.

The words fear and death sank in REAL deep as I re-read my mere 10-page journal entry. Fear and death? Fear? Death? What? How?

As we are approaching a new year of opportunities, my church likes to start the new year off with 21 days of prayer and fasting. This basically looks like seeking the Lord about the upcoming year for the first 21 days of the new year.

Now a back story on the past (2) 21 days of prayer and Fasting for Ashlee have included audible answers to pressing and life altering questions.

Without really realizing it, my spirit was remembering this audacious and radical happening that occurred in 2015 and 2016.

Thus allowing fear to creep ever-so-slowly into my heart and take captive every good promise of peace stored in my mind from the Good Book.

Death tightened its grip on the throat of my dreams disrupting the ability to voice the passions and purpose of my very creation.

Let’s just say, the realization of this having happened to me was very shocking.

A pending question tapped on my heart…

“When the assaulter of His promises seeks you and finds you, will he find a breathless feeble man cowarding behind their purpose? Or will he find a fresh air filled pair of lungs, a force standing in the field of the fruit of fulfilled promises reaped through the dutiful sowing and pursuit of the Maker’s purpose for crafting them?”

What’s it going to be House?

~ A.E.House

 

 

 

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Unity

1 Samuel 22:23

“Stay with me; do not be afraid: the man who is seeking your life is also seeking mine. You are safe with me.”

I think togetherness and unity are of the upmost importance in regard to protection from the common enemy; Satan. Having the same Savior is preached constantly. But what or from whom do we need to be saved from?

Maybe one who’s literally prowling about like a salivating empty-bellied lion looking to devour the lonely gazel straying from the herd. That’s the easiest target isn’t it? To risk plunging into a herd armed with hooves and antlers ready to jab and trample, or jump the unsuspecting stray?

Not such a tough choice is it?

  1. For our enemy is not physical but unseen; spiritual.

Cancer- just a name to scare us into believing God doesn’t love us or that he is finished with us.

Problems are not obstacles. They are opportunities.

You might say, ” Well, that’s easy for you to say you don’t have cancer. ”

No I don’t. But we have the same enemy. He’s just using different scare tactics. He knows that the big C doesn’t scare me as much as segregation in my family. There fore, he uses whatever weak spot in the fence and wiggles his bony figure in.

The only difference between where you are mentally, emotionally and spiritually and where God wants you to be is a decision.

You have to decide to stand firm on the promise that God is God. And he HAS won the victory. There is no battle to be fought. When Jesus died on the cross our fears, our worst nightmares, breathed there last as well. And when Jesus was placed in a borrowed tomb so were our fears.

But…

When Jesus rose on the third day, our fears did not.

When I speak of the church, I don’t mean four walls and a roof. I speak of a people with supernatural power inside of them. Unity in the church singes ties of the enemies reach. For where two or more are gathered in Jesus name there the Spirit moves in a dynamic and strategic wave. An impenetrable force field takes root around Gods chosen people. Take hold.

~ A.E.House

Rain on Sunday

After two total blog posts, I have found myself in a quiet dim-lit home. Dusty window has been unlatched and rain is right now trickling onto my window seal. Sounds of blushing leaves being kissed repetitively flood my ears. Have you ever narrated your situation? I know you probably think I’m a completle wack-a-doodle. But in all seriousness, stop what you are doing. Go into the kitchen and grab some tea from the cupboard. Sit infront of your favorite window. Now for the most important part… stare. Find something random out of the blue and stare. Maybe it’s your neighbor cutting grass. Does he have a distinct manner as to which he cuts the grass or is he just trying to get the job done as quickly as possible?

As completely bonkers as this might seem, try it. Go on. I’ll wait…

I feel like such a creature of habit. It is literally driving me insane. I have even googled ‘how to not be a creature of habit’. Sad really.

Recently I have found that the best way to stop being an old hag who sits at home awaiting a suitor to come knocking on her door and sweep her off to Neverland, is to have quiet moments like this one.

Accidental happenings that spark inspirational rest. Moments that make me lie back and sigh. Memories. Years from now when I am all grown up and sophisticated, I will look back on my life and remember the greatness and simplicity of being still. Not a mouse stirring in the house and rain dripping onto my window seal.

I have heard it said that life is short and you should get out there and live! I agree totally. However, living has a different definition to every one person doesn’t it.

I want to have grand adventures, make mistakes and fall in love. That is all awaiting me and I can not contain my excitement for real! But I am also learning that moments like this, of quiet and stillness, are just as if not more important.

~ A.E.House